Happy 18th Birthday, Jonathan!

Jonathan rarely allowed himself to be photographed,
thus the date on this one!

Today is our oldest son's 18th birthday.  When we first met Jonathan, he was 6 years old...almost 7.  My how time has flown by!  Jonathan is a senior in high school this year and doing well by all accounts.  He has taken up crocheting in his spare time, as well as reading and listening to music.

The following post was written on December 26. I didn't post it then, but for those who are interested, you can read it now.  It pertains to Jonathan.  It is entitled, "When Love is Not Enough".

Happy 18th Birthday, Jonathan...we miss you and love you very much!!

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I've been mulling over this post for quite some time now.  It's hard to put it into words, but I know someone, somewhere, needs to read this.  You see, sometimes, love just is not enough.

Yesterday was a happy day at our house, filled with love, joy, gifts, good food, and family.  Except for one.  You see, our oldest son, who turns 18 in just a few short days, will not be in any of our Christmas pictures this year.  He does not live with us right now, and hasn't for over three months. The reality is, he may never live with us again, but most certainly not for at least a year.  Out of respect for his privacy, I won't go into detail here about the why, but he is in a residential treatment program.  Prior to that, he spent three weeks in juvenile detention.  Prior to that, he and his choices wrecked havoc on our family for 9 months of 2012.  Harsh?  Maybe, but it's the truth.

What's also true is that I love my son very much.  He became a part of our family when he was six years old.  For almost 11 years we loved him and taught him and guided him and loved him some more.  But it wasn't enough.  It wasn't enough to break the hold his past has on his heart and spirit.  We don't know exactly what has a hold on him, but we know he and his biological brother are what are called in the adoption world, "wounded children".  There are many books written on how to "love the wounded child" and "parent the wounded child".  But sometimes, love is not enough.

We went to visit our son yesterday with my parents, his grandparents.  We drove 45 minutes one way to the facility only to be "refused" by our son.  He has rights, too, you know, and his refusal to have contact with us is his trump card right now.  But we wanted him to know that we loved him, and so we made the trip anyway, in hopes that maybe, he would change his mind.  But he didn't.  And it was hard.  Very hard.  For sometimes, love is not enough.

Where am I going with this post?  I don't know.  Except to say that adoption and parenting, and especially adoption parenting, is tough.  Sometimes, really tough.  But even if our son chooses to never see us again, I believe that he was placed in our lives for a reason.  I also believe that we have loved him the best way that we knew how, and it was our love that pushed for him to have this one last chance before "adulthood" to get help for his wounded heart.  Will he understand that one day?  I hope so.  But for now, we face the reality that sometimes, our love is not enough.

But we pray that, someday, our son WILL recognize that GOD'S LOVE is ALWAYS enough.

First Day of School

Monday was our first day of school around these here parts.  Even my ninth grader (sort of) humored me by holding a sign with his grade for the year.  Of course he then needed his "cool" photo, too.  Sophia technically started her preschool back in January, but a new year started earlier this month, so we tried to get her in on the photo action.  She didn't cooperate too well for Daddy, but later was content to push her sign around in her grocery cart...whatever works!

I am homeschooling Benjamin and Nathaniel, and so far we have completed a full five days, getting everything done that I had planned.  That's an accomplishment around here!  Sabastian is attending Blue Mountain Christian School again this year and is excited about being in high school (I think!).  Not pictured is Jonathan who is technically a senior this year, but is currently working until some issues are worked out regarding his schooling and such for the year.  So, there you have it...here's to a successful year of school!!

Happy Birthday, Jonathan!

With his favorite candy...a gift from his grandparents

Today marks 17 years since our oldest son Jonathan was born.  We didn't meet him until he was almost 7 years old, but we will forever be grateful that his birthmother chose life for her son.  While some might say that life dealt Jonathan a lousy hand, we know that God was in control of his life from the moment he was conceived.  Our prayer for Jonathan is that he will understand God's purpose for all that has happened in his life, and that, ultimately, Jonathan will give God the glory for ALL of it.

We are keenly aware that we only have a couple of years more to instill in Jonathan the values and morals that we want him to learn, as, Lord willing, he will graduate from high school in 2013 and move on to what God has for him in the future.  We pray that this new year of life will bring profound direction to Jonathan's life and that he will allow God to direct his every path.

We love you, Jonathan David Fisher!

Happy 14th Birthday, Sabastian!

Today is an extra special day in our house...not only is it Sabastian's 14th birthday, but ten years ago today, we met Sabastian and Jonathan for the very first time!  It's hard to believe that the rambunctious four year old who changed our lives forever ten years ago is now a handsome young man of 14.  Where has the time gone?

Sabastian has been great with Sophia from the very beginning...I think she finds him handsome, too!

Sabastian is great with all the younger kids, when he wants to be!

This is an early photo when Sabastian was earning Sophia's trust and adoration!

And this is the fruit of his labor all these months later!!

We love you Sabastian James Fisher!!!!

I'm Baaaack!

It's been four months since I took a break from blogging on this family blog.  I guess it's time to catch everyone up on our family's happenings.  Here's the bulleted version:

• The end of May Benjamin graduated from Kindergarten, and I finished my second year of teaching K5 at Blue Mountain Christian School.

• On June 9, Dave and I left for Taiwan to adopt our daughter, Sophia Elizabeth Chia-Lin Fisher!  After almost three years of waiting and praying, we finally met our daughter and began a new chapter in her life and ours!  (You can catch up on all those happenings at my other blog, Our Silk Road.)

• Since March, Dave had been commuting to Indiana for a new job.  We were scheduled to move there the end of July in order for our older boys to begin school.  Two weeks before our move, we found out that Dave's company changed their mind--we weren't moving after all!  Time to unpack the boxes and resettle in our Jonestown home!
• Due to the impending move, we didn't really take any vacation time this summer as a family.  Hopefully we will get around to that next year...I could use a vacation after this crazy year!
• The end of August brought Hurricane Irene and the beginning of the school year.  This year Jonathan is a Junior at the Northern Lebanon High School and is studying carpentry at the Lebanon Career and Technology Center.  Sabastian is in 8th grade at Blue Mountain Christian School and enjoying being back with his friends.  Benjamin is being homeschooled by Yours Truly for 1st grade...we are having a blast!  Nathaniel and Sophia, both 3 1/2 years old, are along for the ride.  My days are full!

I'm sure I've forgotten something in the craziness of the last four months, but there's a synopsis to catch everyone up!  I will attempt to post some fun photos from the summer soon...Happy Fall, Ya'll!!

This Day in History

December 29 is a double-special day in our house.  And this year, it's even more special...16 years ago, Jonathan David Fisher made his appearance into this world--and it's never been quite the same since!  Below is one of the earliest photos we have of Jonathan, as he didn't enter our family until he was six, going on seven.  We are thankful for his birth mother and her choice to give him life 16 years ago.

Happy 16th Birthday, Jonathan!  We love you!

One of the earliest photos we have of Jonathan (left) and Sabastian (right)

Jonathan this summer at the Maryland Zoo

December 29 is also special because 15 years ago on this date, I married my best friend.  It was an icy Friday evening, as I recall, and we had to start the ceremony late because my grandmother had a hard time getting to the church in the inclement weather.  It was a beautiful Christmas wedding, and 15 years and (almost!) five kids later, we still enjoy one another's company!

Happy Anniversary, Dave!  I love you!

We were young and in love!

Christmas Memories

Christmas Eve tradition...the first present...new Christmas pajamas!

After two hours of wrapping presents, the stockings are stuffed, and Dave and I are off to bed!

The little boys are ready to dig into their stockings...they were very patient!

Jonathan will be 16 in a few days...need I say more?

Sabastian will be...well...not sure what his excuse is!

Now that's better!  This is exactly what he wanted!

Jonathan is starting his own tool collection...watch out world!

Here's the tree before the gifts were opened...we are so blessed!

The only person missing...next year!

Still Here...

It's been a crazy few weeks at our house.  Lots of downs and very few ups, but we're hanging on to the Lord and His perfect plan for us and our children.  I do have some photos of Nathaniel's 3rd birthday to post, and Sabastian turned 13 this week.  (He will be having a party next month, so the photos will be delayed for him!)  I thank God for my children, but must say that parenting is not for the weak of heart!  I'm very thankful for a long holiday weekend, and the relaxing Saturday we are enjoying right now.  Someday I'll be back to my regular postings, but life needs to settle down a bit, first!

The Coolest Mom Ever

Quote from my 5-year old son this morning on our way to school: "Mom, you're the coolest mom ever!"

How I hope he still thinks that when he's 15! (If my current 15-year old is any indication, chances of that happening are next to nil...but one can dream, can't she?)

Thought for the day/week/year/century:

Parenting is not for the faint of heart!!

(Can you tell what kind of parenting week it has been at our house?!?!?!)

Jonathan

My sister has been hinting not ever so subtlely that I needed more photos of my older two boys on the blog. Well, Sabastian doesn't mind being the center of attention in photos, but Jonathan avoids the camera if at all possible. So, I had to be sneaky in getting a photo of our teenager, but here's what I got:



It was taken holding the camera backwards...not too bad, I guess! Since he slept the summer away, I'm not sure where the muscles are coming from, but he is lifting weights a little with Dave now to enhance them. The girls have definitely noticed our handsome son and vice versa. May I just go on the record to say that the teen years are not my favorites thus far? And I have a looong way to go to be out of them!

My Fall From Grace

On Tuesdays I watch a 13 year old boy in order to help his grandparents (whom he lives with) to continue with their counseling ministry. This young man and my oldest son have a unique relationship, but usually are friends. (If you are the parent of an adolescent, then you know what I mean!) Today my two older boys and this young man got a bit rowdy in our little pool, and I had to take away their cache of water balloons. Mind you, they had been warned MANY times over the last few weeks about these balloons and how, where, and when they were to be used. It must have come as a surprise to this boy that I would really throw away the remainder of the balloons, because my 10 year old informed me tonight that his comment was "I thought your mom was cool" after I took them away and disposed of them. Oh well. The truth had to come out sooner or later!

(On a bright note...my 13 year old son handled the whole thing very maturely...much to my surprise and delight!)

Interesting Article

One of the blogs I subscribe to via e-mail is Tech Savvy Mama. She posted an interesting article regarding age appropriate technology from the NY Times. You can access her blog post and the article here. I commented on the article from both my mother and educator perspectives, so check out the comments!

Cool Site

I came across this website today. Since I am a mother to four boys, one of whom is a teenager, it was interesting to me. I don't know that Jonathan is totally ready to understand all that is on this website (and in the accompanying book), but I will definitely keep it in mind to share with him as he matures. As a woman, I was especially intrigued by the modesty survey this organization has done. If you are a woman, or a mother of daughters, I HIGHLY recommend you peruse this survey on modesty. As a mother of sons, it helped me understand a little bit better how they are wired...and any help I can get in that area, I'll take!